


Grace Will Not Be Doing THAT

by DalWriter



Category: Hawaii Five-0 (2010)
Genre: Awkward Conversations, Awkwardness, Bingo, Blow Jobs, Camaro - Freeform, Father-Daughter Relationship, Humor, Multi, Questions
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-03-06
Updated: 2014-03-06
Packaged: 2018-01-14 17:05:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,382
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1274347
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DalWriter/pseuds/DalWriter
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Grace asks Danny some awkward questions after reading some graffiti at a cheerleading competition.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Grace Will Not Be Doing THAT

Danny Williams had never been so thankful for Hawaiian traffic before in his life. If they hadn’t been at a virtual standstill trying to merge onto the highway after Grace’s cheerleading competition, he would have surely wrecked the Camaro and killed both of them. He was still having trouble controlling his breathing and trying to make sense of Grace’s question. He could not possibly have heard her correctly.

“Seriously, Danno,” the girl tried again. “I don’t get it. Exactly how does somebody get a job blowing?” Pursing her lips together Grace expelled air in her father’s direction.

Feeling her breath on his skin in the close confines of the car, Danny took his eyes off the road and looked carefully at his little girl. She was growing up too fast. He’d made a pact with himself when she was born that he wouldn’t lie to her but he wasn’t ready to answer sex questions. He thought he’d have another year or two at least. He also hoped that she’d ask her mother. Then again, based on her recent statement, Danny wasn’t sure she knew it was a sex question. He took his left hand off the steering wheel he had been gripping for dear life and ran it through his hair, stalling for time. Expelling a deep breath, he began, “Well. . . “

“I mean ‘cause if you can make money blowing, I should do that as a job. It’s got to pay better than my allowance,” Grace prattled on.

Slamming harder on the breaks than he meant to, Danny boomed, “No you can’t!”

Poor Grace shot her arms out in front of her to brace against the dashboard. “I thought you’d be happy I wanted to get a job and be responsible.”

Taking another deep breath, Danny tried to regain his composure and reassure his little girl. “A blow job isn’t a real job. It isn’t something you can get money for, -- at least not legally.”

Grace was confused. “How can blowing on somebody be against the law? What if you can’t help it?”

“There’s . . . . there’s a bit more to it than that,” Danny offered. He could feel and Grace could see the pink heat of embarrassment rising to tinge his neck and ears.

“Is this about sex?” Grace guessed.

“Yeah, Monkey,” Danny sighed. “This is about sex.” Under his breath he muttered, “No matter what President Clinton said.”

“Who’s President Clinton? President Obama is the President,” Grace corrected her father.

“President Clinton was President before President Obama, before you were born,” Danny explained.

“What does that have to do with blow jobs?” Grace wanted to know.

Danny had to chuckle at that. _If you only knew, sweetheart_ , he thought. But he wasn’t about to get into _that_ conversation with his twelve year old daughter.

Traffic had started to move again so Danny had a reason to focus on something other than Grace. It was easier if he wasn’t looking at her. “You know how mommy explained to you where babies come from when she was pregnant?" Danny asked.

“Yeah. When a mommy and a daddy love each other, the daddy puts his thing in the mommy and stuff comes out and that makes a baby,” Grace recounted the explanation she had been given.

“Exactly,” Danny couldn’t help be proud that Grace seemed to understand the mechanism in an age appropriate way. “But sometimes, mommies and daddies do stuff with each other . . . . um . . ah . . . just because . . . . because it’s fun and . . .and it feels good and they . . . they . . uh . . . like it. And what you were asking about, that’s what that is.”

“But what is it? You told me it was sex but not to make a baby but I still don’t know how to do it.” Grace complained, not satisfied with Danny’s explanation.

Sighing, sometimes Danny hated the fact that she got her determination from him. “Where is this coming from anyway? Why do you want to know this stuff?” Danny tried to change the subject.

“When we were sitting on the bleachers, waiting our turn, there was stuff written on the seats and on some of the walls. I couple of them said that certain girls gave good blow jobs and you should call their numbers if you wanted one. I put a couple of the numbers in my phone thinking they could get me a job like that too,” Grace confessed.

Danny nearly had a heart attack at that revelation. “You delete those numbers this instant Grace Marie Williams! This instant!”

Based upon the look of rage on her father’s face, Grace knew better than to argue. She drew her phone out of the front pocket of her pink backpack that was stuffed on the floor of the car and began deleting the numbers.

Danny sputtered on, oblivious to the fact that she was complying with his order without contradiction. “You will not associate with girls like that. You will not be a girl like that. You are a nice girl, a good girl. We’re raising you to be a lady. I’m gonna have a talk with your school and the cheerleading coach and the management of that arena. How could they host a kids’ competition in a place like that without cleaning the graffiti? Graffiti impressionable young children can read. Graffiti my baby read!”

  
“I’m not a baby, Danno. I’m almost a teenager,” Grace reminded him.

The enormity of Grace’s words cut through Danny’s rant. She would turn thirteen on her next birthday. She would, in fact, _be_ a teenager. Oh my God. There would be periods and dances and boys and -- ugh -- sex. He groaned audibly at that thought. He wasn’t ready for this.

“You still haven’t told me exactly what a blow job is,” Grace reiterated.

“Well, it’s . . . it’s kind of like . . .like a special kind of kiss when one person puts their mouth on a . . . on a man’s penis,” Danny stated as matter-of-factly as he could.

The explanation seemed to satisfy his curious daughter. After a moment of silence she then had the temerity to ask, “Have you ever had a blow job, Danno?”

For the third time that afternoon Danny almost crashed the Camaro. “We are not talking about this.” He glared at Grace defying her to continue this line of questioning.

She switched gears but didn’t exactly let the subject drop. “You told me I could always ask you anything.”

Hoisted on his own petard, Danny had to find a way out of this conversation. “I did.”

“But you meant anything except questions about sex,” Grace challenged.

“No. You can ask me anything but it’s not polite to ask people about their sex lives. That’s private. You can ask me general questions . . . medical questions and stuff and I will tell you but I’m your father and we are not discussing my sex life.” Danny was adamant on this point.  "All you need to know is that your mother and I had sex and that's how we got you.  End of discussion."

“So when I have sex, does that mean we won’t be discussing my sex life?” Grace wondered.

“You will never be having sex so there won’t be anything to discuss,” Danny countered.

“What, you don’t want me to make you a grandpa someday? When she was here, Grandma said being a grandma was one of the best things ever,” Grace shared.  "Don't you want that?"

“You making me a grandpa – that’s a long way off, after you graduate from college and after you’re married. Until then you won’t be having sex and you won’t be giving anybody blow jobs ever!”

“Danno,” Grace sighed in exasperation. She knew he was exaggerating but she also knew that this topic was closed for now.

“Don’t Danno me,” Danny chastised. “You must be hungry after your competition. Whaddaya say we go hit up the Big Guy for some shrimp?”

“Can we call Uncle Steve to meet us there?”

“Sure. You go ahead and call him,” Danny instructed.

Holding her phone up to her ear after pressing three on her speed dial, Grace smiled at her father across the car, “Maybe your day will have a happy ending after all.”

Danny groaned at her unintentional pun. If this was only the beginning, Grace’s teenaged years were sure to kill him.

**Author's Note:**

> Written for 1 Million words mini bingo challenge. I had a sex / love card and the prompt was fellatio. I thought this was a unique take on that subject. Alas I do not have a beta so all mistakes & typos are mine.


End file.
